Exercise In Futility.

And Now... Texting With Chainsaw

Chainsaw: One Dollar Budweiser Selects. Doin' Work down in NC.
Will: Oh Snap, I hope they don't have Olestra in them... Good Luck down there, Get cho self a Southern Bell:)
Chainsaw: What's Olestra? There are 3 smoking hot blonde bartenders, but it's kinda hard being the mac when you are actually the lone creepy guy who's getting loaded on cheap beer.
Will: Ha, That's True! Olestra was that dietary oil that was used in low fat Frito-Lay products. They banned it, because people's asses were exploding.
Chainsaw: I already exploded my ass before I came out.
Will: Good Move, Now explode one of those blonde broads pussies!!
Chainsaw: Will do. Will do.
Will: You watching the Yankees or they got the Braves on down there?
Chainsaw: Yanks, but the signal is a little funny at the moment.
Will: Sounds Hilarious:) Phills got Cliff Lee today from the Indians for practically nothing.
Chainsaw: I think the Mets are gonna trade Omar Minaya for Halladay.
Will: I think he's just what the Jays need to pump them up.
Chainsaw: Did the Mets Play today?
Will: No, rained out. They are gonna play 2 tomorrow in Flushing.
Chainsaw: They are on a little bit of a tear.
Will: Yea, 4 in a row and 6 of their last 10. Those are the kinda #s they need to climb out of that 10 and a half game hole they are in.
Chainsaw: Only 5 and a half from the wild card.
Will: 6, but who's counting... Stay Hot, Mets!
Chainsaw: They only have 2 or 3 major leagers in their starting lineup.
Will: Breaks my heart.
Chainsaw: They defy the odds. There amazing.
Will: "They're"
Chainsaw: Look at the english professor.
Will: Not at all, I'm a dope, but I know where to use certain words... It's simple english.
Chainsaw: Your fans kill anyone lately?
Will: Hopefully some delusional Mets fans that actually think they are gonna be playing baseball and not golfing the first week of October.
Chainsaw: Oooh.
Will: Have fun down there, Don't melt. Call me tomorrow and let me know how yr making out.
Chainsaw: Okay
Will: Do you mind if I blog what we just texted?
Chainsaw: Go ahead.
Will: Sweetness:)

Who’s Hungry?

Posted on Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Eat Me! Eat Me!

Just in case anyone was looking for a late night snack, I thought you might like to see what gets you the most bang for your buck… and by “Bang” I mean Calories, Fat, Sodium, and Diareah… Cheers!!

11,041 Moons Deep (5th of July)

Posted on Sunday, July 5, 2009

It is now something o’clock on the 5th of July/

Summer is here and it’s a real bully/

I wanna be everywhere but I’m only one man/

Tonight I will sleep but I want it to ban/

For we are in the hot months and I am so cold/

The stickiness and persperations are ever so bold/

I just want to go crazy like Prince did summer ‘99/

And i’d rather not lay down and fall so far behind/

These are the days of our lives my friends/

Just let me know sleep is alright and try to extend/

The Sun Is Up and I am 11,041 Moons Deep/

The Sun Is Up and I am 11,041 Moons Deep.

Observations: Game 1 of the ‘68 World Series

Posted on Monday, June 15, 2009

Bob Gibson is really sweaty.
I find myself rooting against Tim McCarver, but only for comments he would make 40 years after this game was played.
Holy Shit, Frank Sinatra is in the stands. The on-field reporter interviewed him. “Cards in 5,” he said… Stick to singing, Blue Eyes.
Lou Brock is fucking fast, dawg.
The commentators sound like robots… Maybe that’s where McCarver got his witty style.
They keep saying it’s being broadcast in color, but it’s black and white.
They just interviewed the NL President and his name is Warren Giles… Wonder if there is a relation between him and Phillies part owner Bill Giles (I just Wikipediaed it… and Warren is Bill’s father).
Harry Caray is calling the last 3 innings. He was then the Voice of the Cardinals… and not crazy yet.
Roger Maris ends up retiring after this World Series. It’s really weird seeing him in the Cardinals uniform.
Before pitching Gibson played for the Harlem Globetrotters.
A woman caught a foul ball… Harry Caray is appalled. “She’s gonna go home and tell the whole neighborhood!”
Gibson end up striking out 17 and the Cards Win.

And Now... A Chat With James

James: Have you heard Bon Iver?
Will: Yea, I have the album and the Blood Bank EP. Kinda slow, but i like it. Good making love/going to bed jams.
James: Yeah, my buddy Craig sent me those albums. Trying to listen at work but I've got the server hum of like 8 machines in here.
Will: Oh yea, it's really soft. It really compliments the way i make love/sleep.
James: Soft & nearly inaudible?
Will: Exactly.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Yea… Get Pumped!

June 10, 2009